schoolisin | (no subject)

(no subject)

Who: Drama, anybody.
When: Day 1, Night
Where: Drama
What: PILLOWFORT

[ What happens when you allow a former Teal access to blankets, pillows, and mattresses?

FORTS. FORTS HAPPEN.

Which is to say: Coco has transformed her room into a den of cosiness, and if you're team, a friend of the team, or a friend of a friend of the team, you're (probably) welcome to crawl in and make yourself at home. ]

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...

Can you actually do that...

Care, at least the type required to keep a dinosaur alive while I am removing its flesh, should be no trouble for a woman of my talents.

[YEAH I'M A LITTLE CREEPED OUT]

...Oh.

Too much?

Little bit.

My apologies. I do have a taste for the macabre.

...Though, you likely already knew that.

I'm trying not to think about it.

You do not need to worry. I would not harm another human being.

...Put simply, I am a killer who is tired of killing.

[more like you're chuuni as fuck]

... Did I ever tell you much about my world?

[I LIVED IN A CHUUNI CANON AND THEN MOVED TO A POSSIBLY CHUUNIER ONE just in a different direction.]

You did not, no.

... We had something called save points. You used that, and if you died, you just came right back there, just a little weaker.

I see... so then, you are not someone whom death is as jarring for as most.

That is... a blessing and a curse, in my experience.

... People can only die for good if the save point is destroyed, or if someone's too sick or old for it to help. So, most people get the same full life, no matter what.

People... dying permanently because they were killed is strange.

I see...

In my case, I am very used to the idea of people dying forever when they are killed. However, I compartmentalize. In a world like the library, where it is not permanent, I put away that knowledge and that hesitation that comes from knowing someone will stay gone.

If I seem to have little regard for my own life, it is because I know that others lack this talent.

It's still weird to hear someone call themselves 'a killer'.

Killing others in your world lacks quite the same punch, yes. In my world, where they did not come back, I ended countless lives very prematurely. It is a crime we call murder.

Think of it as destroying the single save point an entire city uses, then going through and killing each of them one at a time. That may put it into perspective.

...I was not a good person. I still might not be.

... I don't think so. That's still different.

But I understand what you're getting at.

[A nod.]

To make amends for that... I will not use force unless there is no other alternative. If it is possible to avoid harming others, I shall. If I can avoid letting another come to harm by taking their pain on myself, I shall.

It cannot undo what I have done, but it is the only way I may face forward and move without creating a pit of self-loathing inside my heart.

Edited 2014-09-06 06:07 (UTC)

... Heh. You know, you'd get along with Takshaka.

Your team..?

I am pleased to hear it. I only hope you can come to a similar understanding with my other self.

... Well, probably not.

Give it time and understanding. One never knows what the future may bring.

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